The Daioh Zone
by Metroids ate my Brain
Summary: You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension. One of not only sight and sound, but of mind. A land of both shadow and substance, things and ideas. You've just crossed into the Daioh Zone.
1. Time Enough At Last

Time Enough At Last

_Witness Mrs. Yomi Mizuhara, a charter member in the fraternity of dreamers. A bookish little woman whose passion is the printed page but who is conspired against by a bank president and a wife and a world full of tongue-cluckers and the unrelenting hands of a clock. But in just a moment Mrs. Mizuhara will enter a world without bank presidents or wives or clocks or anything else. She'll have a world all to herself, without anyone._

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At the bank-

Yomi is reading at her desk. A sign on the desk says "Next Window, Please." Her boss, Ms. Yukari Tanizaki, approaches. She taps Yomi on the shoulder

"Can I see you in my office for a minute, Mrs. Mizuhara? Or are you too busy reading?"

"Oh, Ms. Tanizaki, I didn't realize you were there. I'll be in your office in just a moment. I've been reading a wonderful book, _David Copperfield_. I don't suppose you've read it also?"

"No, I haven't. And I can safely say my life has suffered no great deficit without it."

In Yukari's office-

"So, Yomi, let's just get to the point of this. Quite frankly, you're not very good at what you do. You seem to want to devote more time to reading than to your job. You read on duty, you read during your breaks. Why, I remember how you tried to read the campaign buttons people were wearing last November. You will henceforth devote your time to your job, or you shall find yourself reading on a park bench from morning to night for want of a job. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, mam, but, it's just…"

"Just what, Mrs. Mizuhara?"

"It's my wife, Tomo. Every time I try to read in the house, she steals the book from my hands and hides it somewhere. It's the same with magazines and newspapers. I had to start reading the labels on the condiments, and now she won't even let me use ketchup."

Yukari smiled at this

"Well, Mrs. Mizuhara, I would have to say that your wife is perhaps a very intelligent woman. Now get out of my office at once."

At Yomi's house, several hours later-

Yomi had settled down into her chair, and, quickly looking around, pulled a book out from her jacket pocket. Just then, her wife, Tomo, came bursting in.

"Yomi! Didn't I tell you not to read in the house? I won't have my wife giving up the pleasure of conversation for some dumb book."-She snatched the book from Yomi's hands-"Oh, one more thing.-We're playing cards with Chiyo and Osaka today. We're leaving in about fifteen minutes, so go put on a fresh shirt."

"Yes dear."

Tomo walked out of the room. Yomi looked around, and, sure that Tomo was gone, carefully removed the seat of the chair. Hidden underneath it was a pocket-sized book of poetry. She quietly slipped the book into her jacket pocket. Just then, Tomo came back in.

"Yomi, what have you got there?"

"Got where, dear?"

Tomo reached into Yomi's jacket, and pulled out the book of poetry.

"A book of modern poetry. How did this get here, Yomi?"

"I… I don't know, Tomo?"

"Well, I can only hazard a guess."-Changing her demeanor-"Would you like to read me some?"

"Really? You want to hear some?"

"Yes. I'd be delighted to."

"Oh, well, I don't know where to start. So many wonderful poems, I… I just can't decide."

Yomi opened up the book, only to find all of the pages had been scribbled out. She began to cry.

"Tomo, why would you do this?"

"You should be thanking me. Always with the reading. You're going to drive yourself insane one day."

The next day, at the bank-

Yomi's shift had just ended, and she was going down to the vault to read the newspaper. The vault was the only place she had found that would afford her any peace and quiet on her break. She opened up the newspaper. The headlines proclaimed "Hydrogen Bomb Capable of Total Destruction". Moments after she opened the paper up, it happened-A massive shockwave, greater than that of an earthquake, hit. The vault shook violently, but somehow, left Yomi unhurt. She got up, and, the effects of the shockwave still taking their toll, stumbled her way out of the vault. What she saw was nightmarish-Much of the bank was in ruins. She stepped her way through the ruins, looking for anybody else. She found none. She stumbled outside.

"Hello! Is anybody there!?"

No one answered back. She realized the truth. There was no one left. She was alone. Unable to contain herself, he got on her knees and cried.

"Oh god, there all dead. They must be, there's no other explanation. They're all dead, except for me. I'm all alone-Tomo, Yukari, Chiyo, Osaka, all the others, they're all gone. And I'm alive. But do I even want to be alive? I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone."

She looked around. All she saw was rubble. Parts of old buildings she had known and loved for many years, all gone. She spied the ruins of the old pawn shop. She walked inside. Many of the cases were smashed by debris, but one stood. She looked inside, and saw her way out-An antique Luger. She smashed the case, and took it out. She checked it, it was loaded, and, despite the years on it, it still worked. She pointed it at her head. Moments before pulling the trigger, she had an epiphany-The Library. She tossed the Luger aside, and ran to the library. Surprisingly, much of it was still intact. She went inside, and, to her amazement, almost all of the books were there, seemingly untouched. It was a miracle.

"I…I can't believe it"-She took some of the books off the shelves, and opened them up-"Collected works of Dickens, Shaw, Shakespeare, Tolkien, everyone. They're all here. And it's all mine. I finally have the time to read every one of them, without Tomo, or Yukari, or anybody else getting in my way. All the books I want, all the books I'll ever need." She started sorting all of them out."And I'll read this pile in November, and this pile in December, and these ones the year after that, and these ones…An the best thing is- I have all the time I need now."

Just then she tripped. She felt her glasses fall off, and she could hear them hit the floor. She picked them up. She could feel they were broken. Once again, she started to cry.

"No. That's not fair. That's not fair at all. There was time now. There was finally time."

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_The best laid plans of mice and men and Yomi Mizuharas, the small woman in the glasses who wanted nothing but time. Yomi Mizuhara, now just a part of a smashed landscape, just a piece of the rubble, just a fragment of what man has deeded to himself. Mrs. Yomi Mizuhara...in the Daioh Zone._


	2. Sin

Sin

_The sins of man are too innumerable to count, to vast to know, and to deep to judge. But luckily, there is a corner of the universe where they are more easily accounted for-The Daioh Zone._

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It was New Year's night, and all of the girls were asleep and dreaming, hoping that in their dreams they would see some grain of wisdom for the New Year. We'll be going to look at their dreams tonight, as we do every New Years. First, we shall examine the dreams of little Kaorin.

~dream~

**It was a beautiful summer day-"summer", thought Kaorin. "The time for love… Love from the beautiful Miss Sakaki. Today's the day-I'll tell her how I feel today even if it kills me!" And, as luck would have it, moments later, Sakaki passed by. She looked down at the smaller girl.**

"**Oh, hello."**

**Kaorin thought to herself. "Okay, it's now or never…I…I… I LOVE YOU MISS SAKAKI! There. I said it." Sakaki looked at her, confused. "You can go back to ignoring me, but I can die happy knowing that you at least know what I feel."**

**Sakaki looked down at Kaorin, still confused. "I don't ignore you, though. I've felt the same way about you too. I've just been to afraid to tell you… I thought you might reject me." With that, she bent down, took the smaller girl in her arms, and kissed her. Kaorin felt Sakaki's tongue flicker into her mouth, and…she couldn't believe it. It was the greatest moment of her life, and she wished it could last forever. "Now" said Sakaki "Why don't we go back to me place. I know you want to."**

**Kaorin stared at Sakaki, her eyes overflowing with joy. "I…I'd love to, Miss Sakaki."**

**Just then, the wind picked up. It had been a very sunny day, with only a slight breeze. Within seconds it was a cloudy day, and the winds were getting stronger by the second. Soon, the winds became very strong, and they lifted Kaorin right of her feet. They swept her 'round and 'round. Somehow, through all the wind, a spark ignited somewhere in the tempest. The fire quickly spread, quickly igniting her whole body, and even the tempest she was trapped in. Her body was now engulfed in a blazing storm of hellfire. The greatest day of her life had become the worst in mere seconds.**

She woke up**. **Terrified, she checked herself to see if she was burned. Though she knew it was only a dream, it had been a very realistic one. She could still feel Sakaki's tongue against her own, and the heat of the flames licking against her body had felt as real as anything else. She looked at her alarm clock. It read 4:27. She decided to go back to sleep, hoping she wouldn't be subject to another nightmare.

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Next, I think we'll look at the dreams of Yomi. Perhaps hers will be less terror-ridden.

~dream~

**Yomi and Tomo were in the park, enjoying the beautiful day. Or not, as Tomo was, as always, preoccupied with being Tomo.**

"**Hey, Yomi, guess what? I think you've put on some more weight! What is it now, huh? An extra 30 pounds maybe? I think we have a new record for weight gained in one week!"**

**Tomo had just touched a very sensitive nerve, and Yomi retaliated with a swift kick to the jaw, leaving Tomo unconscious. She then left to home.**

**At Yomi's house-**

**Yomi entered her room, and undressed down to her underwear. Looking at herself in the mirror, she thought "Am I really as fat as Tomo says I am? The others don't seem to think so, but they don't see what I'm like at home. I eat constantly, sometimes to drown out Tomo's idiocy, sometimes to drown out the pain of being fat." Without bothering to put anything on , she wandered into the kitchen, and opened up the refrigerator. Inside was an unopened half-gallon of mint chocolate chip, her favorite. She took the container, as well as a spoon, and retreated to her room. Digging in, she found the taste of the ice cream to be slightly different, but she was unable put her finger on why. She also noticed that, no matter how much she ate, she neither felt full, nor did the amount of ice cream ever change. Eventually, she noticed that she was, indeed, increasing in size. "That bitch Tomo wants fat, I'll show her fat", she thought, drowning both her sorrow and her rage in the never-ending tub of mint chocolate chip. Soon, she noticed that she was getting full. She didn't care, though. But something was wrong. She felt something, a tear, perhaps, roll down the side of her face. She wiped it off-it felt odd to the touch, cold, and slimy. She looked at it-It was a smokey black color, and felt like an icy slush. Suddenly, more of the slush came rolling down her face, through her eyes, her ears, her nose, even her mouth, leaving her unable to even breathe, as the vile, iced black slush poured out of every hole of her body, continuously.**

She woke up. She was freezing cold, as though she had been submerged in the black slush that covered her in her dream. It made no sense to her. It was only a dream, yet it had felt as real as anything else. She went to get another blanket from the linen closet. The alarm clock read 5:36. She decided to try and get some more sleep before school started in the morning.

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Perhaps next we should look at the dreams of her friend Tomo… We may be surprised.

Tomo had already been woken up some time earlier, to what had felt like a kick to the jaw. Upon waking, she looked around, and realized it was only a dream. Happy that she hadn't been kicked, she -yeah, I'm not going there- before going back to sleep.

~dream~

**Tomo was swimming at a pond. It was a nice, clear day. Normally, the water in this pond was a little murky, but today, it was perfectly clear-she could see all the way to the bottom. Surprisingly, she could see Osaka sitting at the bottom, almost as if she was sleeping.**

"**Hey, Osaka, what're ya doing down there?"**

"**Oh, I'm just a figment of your imagination. Don't mind me."**

**The conversation confused Tomo-First, How could she and Osaka talking underwater? Second, how could Osaka respond if she was, as she claimed, sleeping-and how could she sleep underwater, anyways? The fact that none of this made sense should have been an indication that something was amiss, but it didn't. Suddenly, the waters turned dark. Tomo could no longer see Osaka at the bottom of the pond. But through the darkened water, Tomo could just make out a faint gleam. When she peered downwards to get a better look, it came up-a metal pike-, and punctured her stomach. The pain was instant and unimaginable. More pikes came out of the water, piercing her body all over.**

She woke up. She could still feel pain although it was evident that the whole episode was a dream. Rays of light peeked through her window shades, telling her it was, more or less, morning. She looked at her wall clock. It read 6:47. She realized that if she didn't get dressed soon, she'd be late to school. She hurriedly put on her uniform, and rushed to school.

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At school, the three were telling each other about their dreams. Chiyo walked over to them.

"Hello! Did everyone have good New Years dreams?"

Yomi was the first to respond.

"No, mine was terrible. And from what they've told me, Tomo and Kaorin didn't fare much better either".

So the three of them told Chiyo about their horrific and realistic dreams.

"Well, I think the three of you are in luck." Said Chiyo. "I've been doing some research on dreams lately, and with yours, I can look at some other stuff I know to come to a conclusion on what it means. She thought about it for a few moments. While she was thinking, Osaka wandered over to look at Chiyo think.

"Hey, Yomi. Do ya think Chiyo-chan's a robot or something? There's no way I'd be able to think about something that much."

"Nope. I think she's just… well, I don't think there are words to describe her."

Chiyo ended her train of thought.

"That's it! That'?"s the reference point!"

What is it, Chiyo?" asked Tomo. "What point are you talking about?"

"The common point to all of your dreams. You see, while analyzing what their meaning was, I realized something-All your dreams had a common, tying point. All three dreams had a symbolic reference to Dante's _Inferno_."

What are you talking about?"

"Dante's _Inferno_ was the first part to _The Divine Comedy_. It follows a man's guided journey through his imagined version of hell. On the different levels, the sinful are punished in a manner like that of their sin." She turned to Kaorin. "In your case, the tempest of fire represents both the punishment and the cleansing of the lustful. In your case, Kaorin, the object of your lust being Sakaki. I think you should tell her how you feel, and accept her answer, whatever it may be." She then turned to Yomi. "Yomi, the slush you were excreting was part of the punishment of the gluttonous, who were forced to wallow away in the filth they created. For you, though, I think you should cut back on the mint chocolate chip ice cream. You've eaten way too much of it lately, and it can't be good for you." Finally, she turned her attention to Tomo. "Tomo, , your dream as a whole represented the punishment of the wrathful, who were forced to fight for eternity in the river Styx. The river was also home to the slothful, which explains why you aw Osaka at the bottom. For you, I offer this advice-Stop being mean to your friends. It'll only hurt you in the end."

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_The repentance of the sinful-These girls, who fell asleep with heavy soul, dreamed of their punishment, and were alerted to their fault through the help of a friend. But they got lucky, for such an occurrence only happens, though, when you fall asleep in the Daioh Zone._


	3. The Meaning of Life

The Meaning of LIfe

_Life… All that we see, what we smell, what we hear, what we feel, what we perceive… All around us. We choose to believe it is real, because we perceive it to be real. But, there are places where it isn't always as we perceive it. Places like the Daioh Zone._

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The day was perfect…Too perfect. The sky was clear, birds were singing, and Yukari was off the road. Unfortunately, such a day always comes with a catch, and today was no exception. The catch today, as it happens, was one that none could have ever seen coming.

Today's story starts with one Ayumu Kasuga, otherwise known to her friends as "Osaka". She woke up, as she did every other day. However, this day, she didn't quite feel herself. She looked in her mirror. To her surprise, she saw something-a semi translucent green upside-down pyramid, floating right above her head. She smiled, and tried to grab it. It disappeared, and then reappeared when her hand left its "area". She tried again, but still no success. Paying no mind to it, she went downstairs, where her mother was waiting with breakfast.

"Ah, good morning Yummie. Did you sleep well?"

"Yea…I guess so."

She looked down at the table-Blueberry pancakes, her favorite. She sat down, and stared at the pancakes for several seconds, as if she was unsure what to with them. Her mother looked at her for a moment-Her daughter had never turned down blueberry pancakes before. Then, she saw her daughter's eyes glaze over, and she started muttering to herself.

"Commands…" Her eyes started rapidly moving, as if she was in a state of REM sleep. "…Eat…"

Osaka looked at the pancakes again, picked up a fork, and started eating. However, her daughter's behavior had unnerved Ms. Kasuga.

"Yummie, honey, do you feel alright?"

"Well, I don't quite feel myself today, but I should be fine. Why?"

"Oh, no reason, I guess."

An hour later, in homeroom-Osaka and Chiyo were conversing.

"I'm telling you, Chiyo-chan, I don't feel myself toady. It might be best if you stayed away from me for awhile."

"But, Miss Osaka, I don't think I…"

Then, she saw it-the same thing Osaka's mother had seen. Her eyes glazed over.

"Miss Osaka, do you feel alright?"

"Commands…" Her eyes started rapidly moving."…Options…Add new command…Stab…Command accepted…Commands…Stab…"

She pulled a knife, seemingly out of nowhere, and stabbed Chiyo several times in the gut, her blood splattering onto Osaka's face.

"But, Miss Osaka, why…"

Chiyo fell over, dead. Her uniform coated in blood. Osaka looked down at her corpse.

"I told you, Chiyo-chan. I don't feel myself today."

The other girls looked over at the scene that had just taken place, totally shocked. Osaka looked back up at them, her eyes still glazed over.

"Commands…" Her eyes began to move again. "…Options…Add new command…Kill…Command accepted…Commands…Kill…"

She lunged, knife still in hand. First to die was Tomo-Osaka slit her throat in a single easy swipe. Next to die was Yomi-She was slashed in the back, her spinal cord severed instantaneously. After her came Kagura-Osaka rolled under her, slitting her Achilles tendon. She fell, and Osaka positioned the knife directly under her heart. It pierced through, killing her. Last was Sakaki-Osaka stabbed her in the lung, pulled it out, and, quickly spinning around, slashed through her neck. She moved incredibly fast, none of them had time to even respond. The corpses of her former best friends lay in a circle around her, blood pooling all over the floor and caking the walls. She looked at the mess she had created, her eyes still glazed over. Then, she raised the knife, and, in one deft movement, slit her own throat. She saw the blackness of death come over her, and then, she saw nothing…

In a darkened room somewhere, a young male, possibly mid-teens, sat at his computer, staring at the carnage that had just occurred. Next to him sat an empty box to a computer game-"_Sims X, Anime Version-Azumanga Daioh._" He laughed.

"Holy shit… I knew I could make Osaka do some damage, but that…That was just brutal… Good thing I saved the night before. I think next I'll see what Tomo can do."

He thought to himself, his grand plan a rather simple one-Test each character's capacity for carnage, and then make them fight. So far, Osaka had clearly fared best, slaughtering every one of her friends, before committing seppuku. Her success both enthralling and unnerving him.

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_Life. All that we perceive-or choose to perceive. Is it real? Are we real? The answer, it seems, is more complicated than it first appears. Especially in the Daioh Zone._


	4. The Dark of the Night

The Dark of the Night

_For many of us, the fear of the dark is one of the most deep-seated and primal fears of all-The mystery of what is out there, the fear of the unknown. Normally, there is nothing out there to fear. But not so for those who find themselves in the Daioh Zone._

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It was night, and only one person was out driving at this time of night. Her name was Minamo Kurosawa, or Nyamo, as she was called by her friends. She was the PE teacher and swim team coach at Azumanga High school. She normally didn't like to go out this late at night, but something unexpected had come up. Then, coming back from her errand, she had accidentally taken a wrong turn without realizing it. So know she was stuck in unfamiliar territory, with no map, and no working cell phone.

"Damnit! Why did I turn on 53? I should have just kept going straight till I hit 50, but no. Stupid, stupid me!"

The next street over, she saw a man standing on the corner. His face was turned so she couldn't see it. She pulled up to him.

"Sir-Could you tell me how to get from here to 50?"

He spoke, though still keeping his face turned.

"Yea, sure. Turn right at the next intersection, and go straight for about a mile. Then, take a left turn at the intersection there, and just keep following the road. You get to a fork in the road-turn left-it'll take you to 50 about 3 miles after that, but if you go over the bridge, you've gone too far"

"Ah, thanks."

As she drove off, she looked in her side-view mirror. She saw the man turn his head, and what she saw terrified her-he had no face. No eyes, no nose, just a grinning, shark-toothed mouth. She started to wonder if she could trust his directions, but, for now, it was the only choice she had.

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Nyamo had decided to follow the faceless man's directions, and so far, she had not run afoul of anything vicious-yet. Suddenly, she slammed the brakes on her car-she saw a person, lying unconscious on the road. She got out to help, but upon exiting her car, she saw that the person was nothing more than a large, leafy pile of dirt lying in the road.

"Wow, I must be tired. My eyes are playing tricks on me."

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Nyamo had been driving around for what felt like ages, but had yet to find the fork. She thought that perhaps she had gone over the bridge without realizing it, but as she was getting ready to turn around, she saw it-the fork. She took the left, and followed it. But soon she came to something the faceless man had not described-A large, gated processing plant. She drove through the open gate, thinking that the road continued out to 50 past the facility, but no such luck. The road traversed the length of the facility, but it was a dead end. She knew then she had taken a wrong turn somewhere. Just as she was turning around, there was a flash of green light, like something from another world. It blinded her temporarily, and she closed her eyes to avoid the light further.

When she opened her eyes again, she could tell something was very wrong-She found herself strapped down on a large table. Surrounding her were several human sized reptilian creatures, with leech-like mouths. They were dressed in dark blue military garb. They spoke, and, although their language was foreign to her, she seemed to understand it perfectly.

"**What should we do with this one? I found it snooping about our facility**."

"**Yes, sir, she might tell-just knowing of our facility means she knows more than enough**."

The largest one, the one most likely in charge, addressed the other two.

"**You idiots. Even if she tells, who among the earthlings will believe her**?"

"**Even still, we should do something. I mean, she was tresspassing on our property, after all**."

"**Very well**." The largest one unstrapped her partially, just enough so it could lift up her head. He then bit down on the back of her neck. She could feel its tongue burning away the flesh on her neck. When it was done, he turned her neck to the others. Burned on it was a dual pointed runic symbol. "**There. If she tries to tell others, my mark of insanity will keep her mouth shut**."

At this point, completely exhausted from the soon-becoming hell that was this night, Nyamo fell unconscious, right there, strapped to the table.

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The sun's rays broke through, awakening Nyamo. She was still expecting to be strapped down on the table, but was pleasantly surprised to find herself in her apartment. Checking out the window to assure herself her car was still there (it was), she surmised that last night's events were nothing more than a bad dream. She got dressed, and proceeded out the door to another busy day at school.

She didn't even notice the dual pointed runic symbol burned into the back of her neck.

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_So there you have it. The fear of the dark-the fear of the unknown. To some, this fear is more warranted than in others. Usually, though, this fear will show itself when inside the confines of the Daioh Zone._

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Sorry to all of the fans of this story for being so late with this chapter. My laptop's been down the past couple of weeks, and it only recently got fixed. Now, next week, I'll be in Maryland for awhile, so I won't be able to give the usual Tuesay update. But I will give you a bonus chapter this Friday as a consolation prize.


	5. To Serve Man

To Serve Man

_Respectfully submitted for your perusal: A Mihamanit. Height: A little over 3 feet. Weight: Around 70 or so pounds. Origins: Unknown. Motive: Therein hangs the tale, for in just a moment we're going to ask you to shake hands, figuratively, with a Christopher Columbus from another galaxy and another time. This is the Daioh Zone._

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We see a young woman, not much older than 23. She is lying down on a cot located in a small cell-like room. She is smoking a cigarette. A voice, youthful, and echoed, as though multiple people were speaking, came through the loudspeaker.

"Ms. Kasuga, it is meal time. Kindly state your preference."

"I don't want anything."

"Oh, but you must eat, Ms. Kasuga. We wouldn't want you losing weight."

"I said, I don't want anything."

"Very well. We shall ask you again later. Perhaps you will be hungry then."

Ms. Kasuga got up, and threw her cigarette onto the ground, where she proceeded to grind it into the floor.

"Please deposit cigarettes in appropriate receptacles. This is a safety measure."

"Why don't you take a flying jump at the moon, you midget freaks."

The person in question of this story is one Ayumu Kasuga, known to her friends as "Osaka". Not that it matters anymore. Here, she has no friends, only jailers.

"Can you tell me what time it is?"

"There is no time in space. That is to say, there is no chronology that can be calibrated."

"I said tell me the time. I mean, the time on earth. I don't need your bullshit geometry."

"The time on earth would be 12:00 noon."

At this, Osaka lost herself in thought.

"12:00 noon. If that's the case, that's what you'll preoccupy yourself with. You don't think about 12:00 noon on the next day, nor do you think about 12:00 noon on the day after that. But that's what we should have been thinking about. We were focused on the hands of a clock, when we should have been focused on a calendar.

It was 12:00 noon on that day as well. All the countries of the world, focused on the little problems of the day. Each of them, so caught up in the little things that they hardly had time to look at the big picture anymore. But that's when they came. That's when we should have prepared ourselves. Instead, we milled around like frightened farm animals. "

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At the UN building, several world leaders are holding a press conference, to ease public tensions. The conference is already well under way.

(World leader #1) "Yes, we've just received word that two of their representatives are on their way. They should be here in just a moment, to tell all of you watching this just what they are doing here on earth."

The two representatives walk in. Their steps are synchronized, and their appearance is identical. They share the image of a young girl, just over 10 years of age. Both have reddish orange hair done up into two pigtails, one on each side of their heads. One of them carried with her a small black book, emblazoned on it various alien characters. They spoke as one entity, creating an echoing voice.

"Hello. Our name is Chiyo Mihama. It's so nice to meet you all."

(World leader #2) "So, tell us, Chiyo-what is your purpose here?"

"We are here to bring peace to earth. We come bearing gifts that will increase harvest output, end war, and eliminate greed. We feel it is in everyone's best intentions to trust us, and let us share our wonderful gifts with you all." The one holding the book set it down on the table next to her. "We're more than willing to share them with you, and we will only ask that you simply trust us."

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"It was the era of Santa Clause. But these Chris Kringles came not with white beards or jolly laughter. They came as 3 foot enigmas. And no one was even thinking to second guess them, save for a few. In a sense, I was one of these few-a decoder specialist for the Japanese government. And this is how I became involved."

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Inside the code-breaking facility where Osaka worked, she was currently being overseen by a military officer.

"So, tell me, Osaka, when do you think we'll have this code deciphered?"

"It'll take some time, Probably much longer than we imagine. I mean, this is a language written by a race probably 10 times as intelligent as we are, and about 1,000 times as advanced. I've got a team of at least a dozen men working on it, nonstop, too. We've tried every code-breaking method known to man: Single transposition, double transposition, every type of cryptography, and I don't even know if we're close, or a million miles away."

"So you think it's impossible, then?"

"Not impossible, but very difficult, nonetheless. It'll take time. But I have to wonder, why do we need what's in this book? The Mihamanits are obviously out for our own good, and it just seems to me like we're looking a gift horse in the mouth."

Just then, Osaka's personal assistant, Ms. Tomo Takino, walked in. She was carrying a rather large stack of files.

'Ah, Tomo, what is it?"

"Well, Osaka, down in the 3rd floor labs, they've just cracked the title."

"Really, what does it say?"

Tomo handed Osaka a sheet of paper with a single sentence on it-To Serve Man

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"Santa Clause came through: Arid deserts became fertile gardens with the devices the Mihamanits gave us. Their force fields, designed to end war, did just that. Virtually overnight, armies, navies, air forces, all of them, disbanded. They even allowed us humans to visit their planets, and some reported it was so wonderful they never wanted to leave."

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Once again inside the code-breaking facility, one year later. It is deserted, save for Osaka and Tomo.

"I think I'll head home now, Osaka. Do you need anything else from me?"

"Need you? For what? There's nothing to do here."

"It's the new age of man. Nobody needs to decipher much of anything now. It's odd really. Just a year ago you could pick up a newspaper and read all about war scares, insurrections, and that sort of thing. But now… Well I don't quite know what to say anymore."

"Neither do I. I mean, one year ago, we get a pair of alien girls, orbiting earth in a shrinky-dink cubicle, and everybody thinks it's the most historic event ever seen. Now, one year later, they let us visit their planet, and we treat it like a Sunday stroll through the park. I tell you, Tomo, the sanity of humans is quite the complex thing indeed."

"Are you going to their planet, Osaka?"

"Why, actually, I am. I'm on a 3 month waiting list."

"Me too. Maybe I'll see you on the flight."

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3 months later. Osaka is waiting on line, waiting to board the shuttle to the Mihamanit planet. Just then, Tomo runs through the lines, looking for Osaka. She eventually finds her.

"Oh, Osaka, I'm glad I found you. Listen, you mustn't get on that shuttle. I deciphered the last parts of the book. the title, it's..."

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On the shuttle, in her cell, sat Osaka. One of the Mihamanits entered, bringing with her a plate of food.

"Please, Ms. Kasuga, you must eat something. You'll get so terribly skinny. We wouldn't want that, now would we."

Osaka took the plate, and threw it on the ground, contents scattering all over the floor of her cell.

"I said, I'm not hungry."

the Mihamanit proceeded to pick the food up, and set the tray down on a nightstand.

"But you must eat. I'll leave it here. You're bound to get hungry eventually."

The Mihamanit left Osaka's cell, closing the door behind her. Osaka looked at the food. She picked one of the items up. It looked rather like a sanwich. She took a bite-it tasted like a sandwich, too. She set it down, and stared at it for a moment.

"...It's a cookbook. that's what she tried telling me. That's what she tried telling all of us on that flight. But they wouldn't have us leaving, now would they?"

She turned her head, as if addressing some entity, far out into space.

"How about you-you still on earth, or on the ship with me? It doesn't make much difference, though. Sooner or later, we'll all be on a ship, every last one of us."

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_The recollections of one Ayumu "Osaka" Kasuga, with appropriate flashbacks and soliloquy. Or more simply stated, the evolution of man, the cycle of going from dust to dessert, the metamorphosis from being the ruler of a planet to an ingredient in someone's soup. It's tonight's "bill of fare", from the Daioh Zone._

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Here's the bonus chapter I promised you guys. I'm sorry this isn't original material, but I hadn't thought up an adequate idea when I wrote this, and I was strapped for time as well. Hope you enjoy it nonetheless.


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